its like a long time since i last blog. well, you can say that im busy with my things around me, that would me exams. after exams was somewhat a blur. then i got a job and quitted. hahaz. isnt that funny and ridiculous? heck, just dont have the mood to work when its also holiday for jc people, cause i wouldnt be able to hang out with them. anywayz, yesterday i overnight at samuel's house. miracle huhz. like 1st time happening. hahahaz. sorry pal, didnt stayed up the whole night with your, cause i was really really tired. have to drop dead. hahaz. then your leave me outside. sobsob. oh well, guess i was too hard to be woken up. :P yeah. im just glad to be/hang out with your.

i've been feeling this emptyness inside me but i dont know what it is. like i always feel lost and don't know about everything, myself, whats going on, what i want. just everything. i dont like this lost feelings. makes me feel all alone. empty. thats all. i have no idea what wrong with me or what. maybe its because of what my surrounding has become? it just sucks ok. i hate it. it freaks me out. even i myself freak myself out. that very bad. hmm, could i be having depression? i feel like crying more often you know. hahaz. yesterday i jumped in the lift, scaring everyone out of their guts. i didnt really know what i was doing that time. seriously. i just felt like doing something like that. its just plain stupidity i guess. or probably i was running on adrenaline. the previous i had no sleep. that could be it. not sure.

im always not sure about everything. just worries me. i know i shouldnt think too much, but i just cant help it. i keep on wondering about alot of things. even though they are not necessary. like im just giving myself infinite stress.

just wanns be with my friends at all times. it feels safer that way. i can relax whenever im with my friends. though not being myself totally. :P its raining now. felt like going out. but doubt it. maybe later. i dont even know where i wanna go. just be out. you know.

i feel like im a very demanding person. always wanting the company of a friend. friends just makes everything seems and goes right. no matter what happens. i need them! i want them! well, not a sexual way but. aiya, i dont know how to put it. just interpret whatever you want. i feel like friends are all i need to live. silly huhz. who cares! thats what i think as of now. mayb i will grow up or my mindset will change after going through army.

talking about army. i dont know why i always have the feeling that im gonna lose ching han and samuel after they have gone through it. maybe im not so worried about losing lok tuan is probably because we will be going in the same year. like doing everything at the same time. sound gay huhz. whatever. :P dont care lehz.

haiz. dont know what to do. maybe like they say, i dont need to know everything about you to let you stay. and, knowing everything about you doesnt guarentee you will not leave. well, trying to accept the concept. arhz!

may me and all my friends and everlasting friendship,
stay in contact as always,
and be close to each other,
not losing them through time.
so mote it be.