sobsobs. i lost my soft toy. a hippo soft toy. one that has been with me for many many years. can't live without it lehz. i miss is so much already. just can't find it no matter what. i just hope it appears/comes back somewhere. thats, all.

fuck you man. whose side are you on. who do you think you are? i though i know you but i don't. seems like my efforts are wasted and what i do is for nothing. whatever. i wash my hands off everything.

well, suppose to do my report de. haiz. anywayz, im just venting. sorry for the vulgarities, don't know if its spelled correctly. so. erm, thats it i guess. fucked up. arhz!

starving now! haiz.

oh, to all my friends who are taking "A" levels. Jia you and all the best. May god be with you and that you are blessed.

im not a christian fyi.

haiz. don't know why im always not in the mood to do things. don't know whats happening. don't know everything larz. got things to do but not doing. what the hell am i doing huh? i know need to do and its due very soon, but just not doing it. reports, test, datasheet. just like shi rong's nick, can't concentrate on my work. sianz. (listening to song)

why huhz? arhz! ok larz. i don't know what else to say lorz. today went out with valerie to orchard. thats basically it.

oh, tomorrow is my sis bday. she turns 17, so i hope that she enjoy and spend a meaningful bday. as long as its not like mine can liaoz. happy bday sis, in like 35 mins. hahahaz. ok. kinda lame. she doesnt even know this blog exist.

lok tuan! only you know! :P

i hate myself. poor self image. well, thats what i am, a mel-san temperament. needs lotsa assurances. very insecure. oh well. feel that im very stupid. in every single way. everything is my fault sia. arhz.

anywayz, like jermaine says, life goes on. so, yar. thats all.

seems like im really isolated from the world like that. i mean people have so many things happening and enjoying in their lives and what am i doing here. nothing. i dunno. its like i belong somewher but i don't belong somewhere.

take for example, i have a cca. band. im definately into it, as in attending it and stuff. but im not hanging out with any people or getting to know more about them. its like band is band. and nothing else. can someone tell me what the hell i am doing? seriously, why arent i out with them. doing all the things they do. i don't know.

another example. im in my class. but the thing is i do't hang out with anyone of them. i have no idea what everyone is up to and im not a part of it. its like im part of something yet not part of something. am i hiding away? or is it just me that no one wants to be with?

i don't get it. whats wrong with me and my life? i feel so out. what can i do?

randy has all these things that i don't know of. audrey has all her activities that i never seem to know. joanne has her boyfriend and stuff. well, thats basically what i know about my section. isnt it kinda sad? no. acutally its very sad.

my life is totally screwed up. i don't know whats going on. should really get a hang of it. where does my heart lies? everywhere? i think so.

oh god. i need enlightenment. help me!

haiz, so damn sianz. its like a month since i last blogged. hahaz. anywayz. don't know why they have this spam blog blocking sia. now don't know what to do. yesterday was a, i don't know, funny day? nah. not funny. just thought about how people have kept themselves connected to everyone through friendsters, blogs, and msn. seems like im the only one who has detached from the world sia. i mean like i don't even have some people's friendster account while others have. haiz. sad ritez. that sets me thinking that, my life is really spaced and isolated from the world. is this what i have choosen? i don't know. maybe when i say i treat friends first was just a say and not what i really do. you think? maybe. its like im not trying any effort to do something about it. i think im not even trying to do something about everything. hahaz. whatever. sucks! ok. i think im done blogging or whatever. till then....