it has been a month since i updated this blog man. fuck fuck fuck fuck. hahaz. just wanna say that word for no apparent shit. haiz. listening to hide away by hilary duff now. im really wondering why people are hiding away. maybe they are just hiding away from me thats why i feel so. saded. fuck it larz. i feel so stupid man. i dont know lorz. i mean like i though i have close friends but then is it really true? or am i just trying to convince myself of so? im so naive like shit! (underneath this smile by hilary duff) i dont think that i have anyone i can really confine myself in. also, i thought that im a trustable friend whom someone can confine in lorz. apparent not! no one has confined in me! i feel so useless and unwanted! do every close friend i think dont really trust me and dont think i am that close. fuck them larz. im sorry. i really feel down curently. i just need reconfirmation, reassurance, some signs to tell me that its not true people dont think i am a close friend! no! i dont want it to happen! i refuse to conform to this state! please. please.

is it worth it for all the sacrifical? yes! it is a definately yes! (because you live by jesse mccartney) even if they dont treat me as their person whom they can confine in, its ok! but i just want at least someone who treats me that way! i have no idea why but i just do! damn it man! why do others have people that confine in them but not me?! am i not good enough?! im really scare thats the turth you know! it scares the hell outta me! what can i do?! fuck fuck fuck shit shit shit.

whatever larz. i hope that i go through this phrase soon. haiz. suppose to be feeling high now but instead im as low as ever. and it sucks! total suckness! asshole! be right back, gonna change song. (genie in a bottle by christina aguilera) anywayz, i dont know what to say liaoz. i think i will end here. fuck shit stupid asshole dumb idiotic suck. daryl out! (like ryan secrest) whatever~